there’s a traffic jam in my brain

a helicopter searching for answers late at night
seagulls with oil stuck between their feathers
I don’t know how to help them fly
it all just gets louder as the days go by

overwhelmed about which accident to pay attention to
and why there is construction happening in the middle of the day
I haven’t moved in days
but in my dreams I’m catching a train

I don’t make it to the tracks
and if I do, I’m on the wrong side
the train just passes by
I wake up to a strange alarm and sigh

today I made it out of the house
walked for miles until the falcon who had been waking me up
told me where to take the train
so I could avoid the traffic jam in my brain

*

missing you

I hope the next time I see you
I am able to hug you
Just a bit longer
Either with my eyes
Or my arms
And celebrate that we lived to see another day
On this beautiful, watery planet
During one of the toughest times in recent history

How you are choosing to cope
Is not where my attention will be
Whether you flirt with a song
Cry watching reruns
Break down after work
Flip off or on the news 24/7
Respond only with memes
Keep me on read
I forgive you
I’ve abandoned myself too before
This new day holds something more
Within this empty container
The capacity to have compassion for one another
To carry justice and love offerings
To ensure a better world than the one we were born into

When I was little I used to get scared that
My imagination would swallow me whole
Now I’ve come to terms that this may just be one big dream
In which case, I dreamt you
Dreamt the rain that washed the guava off the pavement
Dreamt the sun that eases our sorrows and dries our tears
In which case, there is more to dream
More to be
More to give, to co-create

And if for whatever reason,
I don’t get to see you again
Receive this poem and every poem I’ve ever written
As an embrace

***

cover for The Most Spectacular Mistake, a book of poems by Anatalia Vallez
The Most Spectacular Mistake by Anatalia Vallez

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