Bambi Here: Two Poems
Selected by Alexis Rhone Fancher, Poetry Editor
I woke up with a book on my head
I can fix
a burning world
a boo-boo ouch child
a clock behind schedule
a murder or two—
who was it we buried in the mudslide?
A Scorpio got a lawyer.
but my book head
I lie abed,
book on my head
pleading for my dangerous heart
to stay alive.
It hurts so bad and the time—
I can’t rake the haystack
pick up needles,
or even be nice,
let alone red lipstick.
I signed up for the Neptune Society.
They need my correct information.
I’m not a girl who shares her particulars,
but to be tossed to sharks,
they say, is a sensible choice.
Don’t mess with metaphors—
how else could I see the sky stitching
clouds together for a bird’s nest
if I was amongst the worm diggers.
This is not old news.
Desperation coming near and whoosh—
I’m old. Old remembers shit
and forgets Led Zeppelin.
Can we still sing “Stairway to Heaven”
without the lady who’s sure?
I’m clinging to youth
as if my memories are walking
backwards in a pitcher of beer,
cut-off jeans, long hair tangles,
and that boy who was a sculptor in Portland—
he played guitar and sang right at me.
So, I married him in robin’s egg blue,
unbuttoning my brain
for the two of us.
My heart is nowhere to be found,
the poem is still good,
but my heart splayed onto a fence.
Before I got divorced
(three men later)
I birthed an owl and a hawk
like Merlin was on my back
whispering his sneaky wisdom
to my children’s shadow balloons—
I cut my hair short as motherhood
was heavy enough
wearing the uniform of recognizable
howls in the weary night
with cupcakes in the dawn.
It’s my thickening years now.
My white roots run maps across
songs of my soon to be obscure.
Aboriginal iconography with dots
show my woman’s way across a campfire,
I like balloons.
Balloons are my thing—always balloons,
balloons everywhere—never ever deny me a balloon.
Please don’t let go of balloons,
they end up in the ocean
and dolphins will choke
and we will not have a sky.
Photo credit: Baz Here
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bambi Here, a Minnesota-born ice skater, grew up in the country. One winter, after deciding it was too cold in Minnesota, she grabbed her books and became an explorer—Portland, Seattle, South America, Nevis, all of Europe, Vancouver, New York, and finally LA.In New York in the 80s, trained by William “Bill” Esper, an internationally recognized leading authority on the work of the “Meisner Technique,” Bambi became an actress—performed in countless theater productions–even Shakespeare in the Park. She co-created The New Theatre Guild and worked with PANDA—Playwriters and New Directors Association. Several of the new plays premiered at Playwrights Horizons.Bambi has been collaborating with Jack Grapes since 2006, co-creating and teaching the workshop series “The Breath of Creativity: Light of the Mind,” and producing many of his LA Poets & Writers Collective Readings.Since 2012, Bambi has served as the Editor-in-Chief of Bambaz Press, FRE&D, I’ll Have Wednesday, and ONTHEBUS. Bambaz Press has helped poets, writers, and artists self-publish hundreds of books—all up on Amazon. With four of her own published books (see below), her work has also been featured in The Cultural Weekly, FRE&D, ONTHEBUS, and The Mas Tequila Review.Bambi is often seen in a wig and a costume—ready for a photo shoot. Once an actress, always an actress—something about those false eyelashes.Her own books: The Wonderment of Saint Bambi, Banging Against Incomprehensible Walls, Whiskey Kiss, I Require Storms.