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Laila Cooke-Campbell: “Shadow Hunter”

Tomorrow's Voices Today

Shadow Hunter

Listen up shadow

I know we haven’t talked for a while, or really ever

And I know you don’t have much to say to me but just listen, please…

IM SORRY

I’m so sorry for all the pain I have caused, for muting you, for shoving you aside, for pushing you down way way   down, and for pretending like you don’t exist

Because you do… I do…

I just needed time to understand that you are a part of me

And that this whole issue I tried to blame on you…  isn’t you

Its me.

Its all me… You’re just a part of me

That I AM this person I tried so hard to not be and to hide you

YOU…

This beautiful damaged soul that doesn’t even know what they did to deserve this in the first place

and I just don’t understand why I made you out to be a waste of space

of personality, of matter, of being

Just because you didn’t fit the image I was trying to set place

This image of fake smiles and never-ending happiness and something worth believing in

Because this persona, this character… is something that I always wanted to win

But for what?

money, popularity, love?

All these things were so trivial but yet were soooo important

That I chose to leave you all alone and made you feel so insignificant

It pains me to say this

But I’m your shadow

I’m the one that darkened your light

I’m the one who made you feel that nothing you ever did was right.

I’m also the one that SAT the regulations

but

honestly Fuck that!

So, what if you aren’t the best at everything

No one’s perfect, so I shouldn’t have felt the need to correct and perfect anything you ever thought

felt

Or believed.

But im done

Im done not letting you breathe, or even BE u.

Im mending this relationship between you and I

And will make it so that We are able to speak to each other and say hi!

No longer will you be this detached part of my psyche

Because without you…. There is no peace

No personality

No being

No me

So, let’s forget the way WE used to interact

We for now on will be one with each other

And not try to forget or change one another

Because no one is more important to me

Than You

Because I chose to be complete

And to be the best me that we would ever meet.

Signed,

              The real me.

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