Laila Cooke-Campbell: “Shadow Hunter”
Tomorrow's Voices Today
Listen up shadow
I know we haven’t talked for a while, or really ever
And I know you don’t have much to say to me but just listen, please…
I’m so sorry for all the pain I have caused, for muting you, for shoving you aside, for pushing you down way way down, and for pretending like you don’t exist
Because you do… I do…
I just needed time to understand that you are a part of me
And that this whole issue I tried to blame on you… isn’t you
Its all me… You’re just a part of me
That I AM this person I tried so hard to not be and to hide you
This beautiful damaged soul that doesn’t even know what they did to deserve this in the first place
and I just don’t understand why I made you out to be a waste of space
of personality, of matter, of being
Just because you didn’t fit the image I was trying to set place
This image of fake smiles and never-ending happiness and something worth believing in
Because this persona, this character… is something that I always wanted to win
But for what?
money, popularity, love?
All these things were so trivial but yet were soooo important
That I chose to leave you all alone and made you feel so insignificant
It pains me to say this
But I’m your shadow
I’m the one that darkened your light
I’m the one who made you feel that nothing you ever did was right.
I’m also the one that SAT the regulations
honestly Fuck that!
So, what if you aren’t the best at everything
No one’s perfect, so I shouldn’t have felt the need to correct and perfect anything you ever thought
But im done
Im done not letting you breathe, or even BE u.
Im mending this relationship between you and I
And will make it so that We are able to speak to each other and say hi!
No longer will you be this detached part of my psyche
Because without you…. There is no peace
So, let’s forget the way WE used to interact
We for now on will be one with each other
And not try to forget or change one another
Because no one is more important to me
Because I chose to be complete
And to be the best me that we would ever meet.
The real me.
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