to know you is to understand the sacrifice it takes to find peace

by Milla Jans
09/28/24

I reach for you
                dull blade in hand
                conscious of each
                freckle of water
                purging my skin
drowning
                in your tribulations
                how becoming of my
                own faults
                they, shaky rose
                petals, break at your
                bones, roughed and bruised,
                                like a smile
reaching,
                counting the spaces between
                each line, the distance ————–> telephone?
                it would take to                                       words on a
                render us insignificant                        page? how
                [it is as if I cannot                                  far I am
                      live without you.                               from you,
                                it’s always drowning.             how I am in ungodly peril
                       when will it stop? ;                               unable to fix myself
                broken- seamless-                                     let alone your crafter’s hands
                    fire- steady                                            I’m beginning
                                beat                                                 to lose my
                                 beating still                                 way, and in
                    a shockwave                                      the process, you.
                can you hear me?                                     you are more
                    can you breathe?                                         than I
             suddenly,                                                             have ever
                my lungs                                                                       been
            feel connected
       to my arms
a length
                away
a part of me
        steps,
        breaking
out of line]

Peace by piece
                each piece
                guiding towards
depths, the same
        portrait of us
                dwellers
          swimming, bloodied,
enslaved
                a shout,
and the knife slips
                and we are
                        one

***

(This piece is part of our yearlong series called Heart Beets that features the work of a group of teen writers, giving us a glimpse into their journey through the school year.)