late candle or undoing our colonization

we left our smiles
on other people’s teeth —
it fitted them

like a souvenir
of groceries.

& when we tried
retrieving them,
they’ve been embalmed &
soaked in the mien

of a clan
consumed by carnage

we hoped we never inherit
back what we lost to chivalry —
empurpled wax spray her semen
upon our womb
until we
procreated hate after hate
after hate after hate after hate
after hate after hate after hate…
till we lost our wombs & ovaries
& everything that holds foetus
& toddlers
& & & & kids

*

writing to my clans or reminding my shadow of them

Dear Shadow,

i am an offspring of four clans:
a rope / formaldehyde / open wounds / saltwater

you know every fold in my flesh
where i tuck my weaknesses
i hope i won’t live tucking more of you
into broken shards of my heart.

now, that you know the size of my bed // and areas in my pillows // wet with my regrets // please // do not wash my linen // in a thirsty lake

i call you dear
forcing my tongue to fit
into lies it fails to recognize
like a mien of doubt
i live to tell my stories backwardly

die don’t please
day this on
heart my when
you only recognizes

my doubts are empurpled by doubts / but you are a calligraphy of another song / of demons escaping our body / another hope / another flower we buried in epidermis of a smile we’d wear /tomorrow / or a day after tomorrow / or a day after / or a week to come / or a month / or a year/ or in the grave / or our bones / or the trees that’d grow on us / or our fears / or our chiseled tongues / or …