According to how we fell.

I think there are universes scattered across time,

where you have pink hair and I have green eyes,

star crossed universes where what you and I had

never turned into something not worth having anymore.

 

And I can’t stop thinking about it,

I drive myself crazy thinking about it,

how did I manage to land here of all pages

and not in a different place at a different pace?

 

Do you look at the dreams I forgot to take with me?

or do you think I’m trying so incredibly hard

to break through the lovesick state you left me in?

In my head you think back, and then you know all these things.

 

(in my head you always know

like a magician of sorts, like someone who listens

like someone who gets haunted and chased

by how much of me they can’t erase)

 

I’ll look at the portrait I made of you,

like all things that I can’t always keep close,

I will keep remembering you just as you are.

You double-sided dream wrecker star.

 

Shine and smile as you do, say you’re willing to keep me close

on a locket, by your side, all over your life,

but my colors don’t fit any more on your canvases

it was time to decide, a battle or a lesson of life.

 

Think, think, think

climb the walls thinking about me

wish I didn’t have to leave you alone, wish that you didn’t break my heart

until my only choices were to run away or to fall apart.

 

Listen to that song I like, you certainly didn’t mean to put it on ,

and play it high until the walls shake and nearly crumb.

(on purpose this time, and according to how we fell)

With all you’ve got, mourn what could’ve been

 

As usual my words are never more than that,

more than things that don’t come true and things I wish you’d do

still, I wish for you to keep every single drop of love

that I ever made you feel.

What are you looking for?