An Experimental Analysis of Melancholia as a Physical Quantity
this is how to measure the proximity of distance
between two lovers:
i draw my silence
into a coiled string
and label one end x, the other y
equation #1 : x = y/ y = x
my lover’s hands
turn me a valley of hydrangeas
and my dreams are an ether of baffling beliefs
eqn. #2: 2x = y/ 2y = x
my lover holds out the rant
of her palms
and I recoil like a snail sensing danger
when I say, I
i mean we/us is no longer in clear sight
plagued by the haze of numerous uncertainties
eqn. #3: 3x = y/ 3y = x
the distance between us—
i hear the song of my cellular grow static
another call unanswered
another night endured
a lonely moon licks freckles across the sky
eqn. #4: 4x = y/ 4y = x
i take a photo of my lover
where she’s wearing Leonardo’s Mona Lisa
and ask the me tied inside the dungeon of me:
have you seen her?
I don’t know what has happened
or where I’ll go
eqn. #5: 5x = y/ 5y = x
the sound of the door closing shut after her
lingers
like a bewildering pain from an unyielding cyst
like the jarring blare of hot rock metal from a stereo
i hold my head to stop its rotation
eqn. #6: 6x = y/ 6y = x
the therapist sings about hurt, tears, and redemption
while I stand by the window gazing
at a multitude all wearing my lover’s braids
eqn. #7: x ≠ y/ y ≠ x
at night
the me trapped inside
howls savagely
pacing in the dark