the way i am loved is the way i will love

screaming to God, slamming fists like a war cry, my rifle pointed not at you but me

goosebumps rise on my skin, swells on scarred canvas as you surrender

the fairytale begins again, solid saccharine walls painted yellow, your promises pink, my knees red

fields of daises envelop us, the sickly sweet sticking onto my clothes and on my skin like a second layer of cement

i roll around in them, fashion some into a crown but i am no queen

i’m a child

i’m dancing, barefoot, feeling the earth between my toes and the sun on my face, my eyes closed as i trip and land on grainy concrete

you’re looking down, i’m looking up

the smell of daises still cling to me as you walk away, your eyes distant

i follow at your heels, begging, pleading

my knees black, my promises blue

you turn back, my rifle pointed

and you stay

What are you looking for?