I am not a real man
I am not a real man I don’t drink beer or care about sports
I am not a real man I don’t even drink coffee just green tea all day
I don’t even or ever wear a suit or tie
I am not a real man I am poor
and was an English major
I am not a real man apparently because I love to lick pussy
and because I don’t want to get married or have children
I am not a real man I have long hair
I don’t eat meat
I don’t go to church
I am not a real man I meditate
which is to do nothing to not react to anything
which no real man would ever do
I am not a real man I’ve never worked 9 to 5 in an office I would kill myself
I am not a real man I don’t watch television or play video games
I am not a real man I hate leafblowers
I am not a real man I practice yoga instead of mixed martial arts
(though still man enough to gaze at women in those tight yoga pants
when I think they’re not looking)
but I am not a real man I would never actually talk to one of those women
I am not a real man like that at all with any women anywhere
which is why I am alone and therefore not a real man
because I am not a real man I like to be alone
and anyways I am not a real man
I fantasize about watching a real man fuck my girlfriends
I fantasize about dressing like my girlfriend and a real man fucking me
I am not a real man I even have to lie about having a girlfriend in my poems
and I am not a real man I’m not a Republican
or a Democrat even
just a pathetic green party democratic-socialist anarchist
who likes to throw elections by voting my conscience
which I guess no real man would ever do
I am not a real man I don’t own a gun
I don’t ride a motorcycle or own a BMW
my truck isn’t even four-wheel drive
though at least it’s a truck and not a Prius
I am not a real man I read books
I even read books by women authors
(though also Hemingway Bukowski and Cormac McCarthy
so maybe not a total pussy)
but how could I be a real man I read poetry
I write it even
so ok fine I’m not a real man
but I make a goddamn good guacamole
which I’m going to eat all by myself
with organic blue corn chips
on a Friday night
because I don’t have a social life
because I am not a real man
but it’s good