The Flame I Beat

You lit a fire beneath me

I watched as gas slowly filled the room

It suffocated me!

But when I cried out: “I’m burning”

Your world kept on turning.


I’m sorry.

I’m sorry…

Is that what you want to hear?

I don’t know anymore because no matter how much I apologize

You fill my head with lies.

You tell me it’s all my fault.

I tell you I have PTSD so bad I can’t sleep–

You tell me to grow up.

That my life is perfect so stop complaining, I’m privileged so my pain

Is only a game.


You dragged me through Hell.

When I told you it was too hot

You told me it didn’t matter because you had been shot.

I frantically tried to stop the bleeding, 

I covered your wounds with my hands and gave you my heart.

While my back was turned,

You tore me apart.

And told me that even though you held the lighter,

I was the one who caught us on fire.


So I’m sorry I pulled away

But after how you ignored my pain,

The abuse you put me through–

And, yes, it was abuse

Not one with a physical scar but deep wounds that won’t heal,

Leaving you was the bravest thing I have ever done.


After so many battles…

I have finally won.

What are you looking for?