Syd Leilani: Two Poems

Empty Promises

I have to move on from this constant race
trying to change things that are no longer the case
begging for those empty promises to one day be fulfilled
it’s not my fault, but it is, I gave my hope a thrill

it couldn’t have just been a desired void
an ongoing cringe my body was annoyed
and once again on this day—you found a way
a way so simple, you knew how to turn my life gray

I’m not sure if many cared about my education,
yet everyone’s waiting to attend my graduation
so many damned the process
moving their pawns as if we’re playing chess to not progress

promises upon anticipation
once was all right, yet look at the creation
those empty promises going all through my head
trying to remember the last thing you had said

I prayed and you stole
you had strayed and I was left not, whole
you require so very much from me
yet the obvious, you cannot give to ye

maybe it was supposed to be like this,
it just hurt me inside and makes it hard not to reminisce
just let me open up a briefcase
to try to embrace all the challenges that took place,

but would that help or will I end up needed an Advil?
just donate my heart to Goodwill
because whatever healing process I went through was destroyed
and there was nothing I could have really avoid

*

I Deserve

I deserve to live in society fear free
in a society that’s worth living for
a place I know I can grow up not caring about who’s there and what could happen
a place where my ethnicity isn’t a problem
a place where I could be me

I deserve to walk the streets without being judged
where the color of my skin doesn’t decide the way I’m looked at
where the brand of my shoes doesn’t verify if I’m wealthy or not
where the types of clothing don’t justify my personality
why can’t I walk down the street feeling free?

I want to live in a utopia that’s not perfect,
but perfect enough for hate to not to exist
where hate is a crime and love is a law
where everyone minds their damn business

I deserve to live in a peaceful society
where our leaders are actually leading us
where they aren’t really ruining us
where I’m not ashamed to say,
“oh yeah, he’s my president”
where that every time I hear his name,
it’s like “Oh man, what did he do again?”

I deserve to live a hopeful world
where a sign of hope is blasted everywhere
kindness is represented
happiness is everywhere
compassion is shown
I deserve this
just like anyone else
we deserve a magnificent world

What are you looking for?