Patricia Cherin: "Last F*cks"

Patricia Cherin is the Chair of the Humanities Master of Arts external degree (HUX) program at Cal State University Dominguez Hills. She has over 100 publications in journals, has published 2 chapbooks, Familiarities (with Gerald Locklin) and Park Quest, and a book Journey in Flagrante from Level 4 Press. This poem was published in Journey in Flagrante in 2009.

Last fucks

The early ones are momentous
lovely in their way of course
but fraught with what the cliché
calls performance anxiety
what is really just coming to terms
with the crux of human experience
nuance, allusion, reference
here they are plain as day
what it means to be transcendent and
feral, god and animal all at once
to know finally
what the fuss is all about
I’m starting to rehearse now
the last time
the doing it after which
it will all be finally done
the last great fuck
is perhaps more poignant
than the first dear ones
the dark lust so clear now
no longer touch resents
its burden, always
carrying more than itself
many histories in every caress
even yearning is more so
because of accumulations and contexts
if ever there will be a knowing
it must be now
after all the tryouts
the dearest  coupling happens
tenderness and passion finally poised
joy wisely accommodating
touch will never be more sure
or bodies more durable
they are learned now
and weighted with living and doing
in the final familiar mysteries
there is somber abandon
such good practice
for the near oblivion

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